Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Paint it black!

I see a red door and I want it painted black...
Paint it black, one of the best songs by Rolling Stones!
I love black! It's my favorite color!

One more night of sleeplesness...
One more night of music!

I'm in pain...physical and emotional...
It's better than being numb...emotionally numb...comfortably numb!

Saturday, October 27, 2007

I can't think of a title so I'll name it "Some spare thoughts of mine"




Have you ever felt that you communicate perfectly with somebody?
That you're in his/her mind?
That you can guess what he's/she's gonna say before even opening his/her mouth?
It feels great! And it's rare! Very rare!
I'm not talking necessarily about love! I'm referring to communication, communication beyond fake words and empty sentences.

The night is the worst time to be awake when you're in pain...in emotional pain. It's when all your thoughts are surfacing. It's when you can hear your fears talking. It's when your worst nightmares are alive in front of your eyes. It's when your decisions begin to fade away. The darkness heals but sometimes it creates even bigger wounds than the ones you had before. Is the darkness your friend or your enemy?

I admire honesty...I wish I had more honesty in my life...

I like "Comfortably Numb" by Pink Floyd...listen to it! It's one of the most honest songs I've ever listened to...

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

It was about time...


No school for me today...
We have a sit-in...it was about time! Most of the schools in our city are closed...
So...I have plenty of free time to kill...
Stupid system! I don't blame the students for closing the school...
I BLAME THE EDUCATION SYSTEM!
We're just fighting for our future!
(I sound like the people we make fun of, don't I?---> :P)

Other than that, today I found out how beautiful out city is in the morning...
It was a cold, rainy morning. It was great!

Friday, October 19, 2007

Smile!


I had to post this one!

I'm against ...

Violence
War
Organised religion
Governments of terror
The system
Showing off
Maths
Physics
Chemistry
Elections
Fascism
Our education system

My day was...unforgettable! A pretty bad day and yet I kept laughing! Dancing! Me!
I apologise to those who had to see us so wild! Sorry!*ironic tone*

Music opens new doors to me...I'm ready! Ready to change!




Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Fear is everywhere...

Fear is everywhere...

Fear hides in the darkness...
Fear is: every stranger you meet...
Fear is: walking alone in an empty street..
Fear is: silence...
Fear is: turning on the TV and watching the news...
Fear is: running out of time...
Fear is: waking up in the middle of the night...
Fear is: falling with nobody to catch you...
Fear is: anger...
Fear is: falling in love..
Fear is: losing somebody...
Fear is: opening your eyes...
Fear is everywhere...

We all live in fear. My fears grow stronger day by day...I cannot fight them...I've never tried to...I'm used to them...

When you face fear every single day, you kind of form your life in order to stay sane...
Death is not the worst thing that could happen to you...death is salvation...
I'm afraid of death...but death isn't my biggest fear...death is more like a mystery to me...not a fear...

I'm through a weird phase...depressed but I can hide it...worried about those around me...worried about the cancer they carry...(please don't leave me! Not now!)

Life is so full of things...I don't know if I can cope with them...I feel I'm running out of time...

Sunday, October 7, 2007

Death is near...



Creepy title, creepy topic, creepy mood!

I woke up with a burden...as I'm waiting for a family member to die I started thinking of the whole "death" issue...
What really happens when we die? Do we know it? Can we feel it?
I've heard many stories about people who had near-death experiences. They say that they could see themselves from above, they could see their body lying there and they knew they had to go back...
I haven't decided whether I want to believe this or not...

But what happens when we die? Do we go to Heaven? Do we go to Hell? Do we come back to life in a new body? I don't really trust the religious explanations....don't get me wrong, I was never a big fan or religion...

So when we die we simply stop existing...scary, isn't it? You live your life, you make money, you get married, you have children and then you die!

I'm over-analyzing the whole thing...I think I'm going to take it easy...

Hey, did you know that Placebo's drummer left the band? This pissed me off!
Why do great bands have to split up?
Speaking of great bands...Led Zeppelin are giving a concert on November...needless to say that I'm not going...

I'm saving up money for an iPod...why do they have to be so expensive? I hate saving money!

Oh yes! Before I forget! I had the best time ever on Friday night! I was out with my friends! Thanks guys!

Wednesday, October 3, 2007

Let it be...it's just life!

"All the lonely people, where do they all come from?
All the lonely people, where do they all belong?"

This is a line from the song "Eleanor Rigby" by The Beatles.
Do you feel lonely or are you too busy to realize the emptiness of your life?
I've spent many years of loneliness.
I don't blame my friends, they did their duty! They were always there!
I needed isolation...I managed to alienate several people...I don't regret it though...
Loneliness grows stronger when you can't stand yourself! Trust me! I've been there!

I'm not alone...
I wake up every morning and I can smile...
I go to school and things aren't that bad...
I feel the darkness approaching but now I can embrace it, not drown in it...
I'm not alone...

Another song by The Beatles...

Let It Be


When I find myself in times of trouble
Mother Mary comes to me
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be.
And in my hour of darkness
She is standing right in front of me
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be.
Let it be, let it be.
Whisper words of wisdom, let it be.

And when the broken hearted people
Living in the world agree,
There will be an answer, let it be.
For though they may be parted there is
Still a chance that they will see
There will be an answer, let it be.
Let it be, let it be. Yeah
There will be an answer, let it be.

And when the night is cloudy,
There is still a light that shines on me,
Shine on until tomorrow, let it be.
I wake up to the sound of music
Mother Mary comes to me
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be.
Let it be, let it be.
There will be an answer, let it be.
Let it be, let it be,
Whisper words of wisdom, let it be.

That's my philosophy of life...Let It Be...
Whatever is to come will come...
If a very good friend of mine read this, she'd laugh! Let It Be!


Tuesday, October 2, 2007

It was a good day...

"Happiness is a butterfly, which, when pursued, is always just beyond your grasp, but which, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you."

Nathaniel Hawthorne

When was the last time you smiled?
When was the last time you smiled without forcing it?
I smiled a lot today...I was with good friends...
Friends from the past, friends I thought I had forgotten and have been forgotten by...
Friends from the present, people I like being with...
Friends I've never seen but feel so close to them...
Music is a friend, a friend who won't betray...
Books are friends, beloved and always adored...
The mirror is a friend, forever there, unchanging...

My guitar is ruined...broken...I need to find a new one...
I get attached to objects...it's hard to let go...